Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I Think She's Gonna Blow!

I'd like to catch you up on some things that have been going on. First of all, there's been another doctor incident, and yes, it nearly killed me.

I found a great new doctor, well, I thought she was great. She even offered me a way to help me lose weight. Sadly, this was in the form of a pill and as we've known from past blogs – pills are bad. I ended up having very high blood pressure and possibly headed for stroke. There is only one solution and that is to stop taking that medication. The bad part is that I was starting to lose weight and I was starting to feel less depressed; the good part is that I no longer have to check my blood pressure twice today. My husband grew afraid that a stroke was imminent, as my blood pressure reached an enormous height. Even the doctors were concerned, finally.

I now understand why blood pressure is called a "silent killer" because I did not feel any symptoms. Instead I could only rely on the numbers that my meters read, and I had what a woman undergoing active labor of twins, during preeclampsia had. This just goes to show more reasons I will never have children – blood pressure issues!

It was farcical finding a resolution. One of the doctors decided that it was my pain medication causing the problems. However, at the same time I had been on that same medication for nearly 10 years. Another decided it was my allergy medication. They all finally concluded that a combination of my allergy medication plus my new weight medication was the culprit. This was decided after month of having blood pressure well above the levels recommended if expecting a stroke.

As far as weight loss goes, during that time I felt terrific. My energy levels were up and I wanted to do everything, so I did. I used my Wii, and danced and danced the danced. The result of this was ruined knee caps, swollen hips and now I fall down all of the time. It turned out all that dancing was making me less stable once I was off of all of that medication. It also turned out that my pain levels had been increased greatly, but the weight medication hid the pain levels.

After three weeks off of the weight and allergy medication, I ended up gaining 4 pounds and now I'm in the place that I was before started to lose weight this past December. Here's the problem: weight causes joint pain joint pain causes all sorts of issues. The primary issue is of course is that I have more joint pain which means I need to move around and exercise, which means I need to lose weight which I can't do because it causes more joint pain – getting the picture here? The last few days, I'm starting to get used to being off of all of those medications except for my standard pain meds. However because of the hot weather, I am now sleeping a lot more than I want to be.

Sleep is great. I can't complain about sleep. Here's the thing. I hadn't slept for more than four hours for nearly 7 years straight now. I'm now sleeping six hours a night which I'm completely not used to. It's great for me it's bad for my pets. So my pets now are trying to wake me up after four hours of sleep! I do laugh about it. I have to laugh about it. Wouldn't you laugh about it? You finally get to get to sleep, only to find that your cat is now walking in your face at 4 AM. They beg me, “feed me mommy feed me”.

That’s what happens. Realizing that I can't move around until I lose weight, I have to start yet another weight loss program. I'll try some sort of Nutrisystem, or maybe instead, then granola or vegetarianism or all the other weird things. I got one more new thing. Consumer Reports posted a statement that there are three or four programs that work better than others, through their testing. The second of these which was coincidentally least expensive is Slim fast. There's only so much weight loss you can afford when you're on disability. You could go for $75 a month program that involves chocolate. I went for chocolate, wouldn't you go for chocolate?

The great thing about being on the chocolate program is, well, it’s chocolate. The bad thing about being in a chocolate program is, well, it’s chocolate. I am getting tired of chocolate and those words sound weird. Also, I'm not dancing, yet, so what happens next?

Menopause. I am now turning into the old lady. I always knew I was. You know, I talk to my computer and I tell it....(using speech recognition)... PE are IOD. It doesn't read this quite right, so it gives me dots at the start of the word menopause. But you don't lose dots-- you lose periods, which all alone would be a fun day. I was looking forward to it for 35 or so years. Instead, I'm finding myself sitting on the couch wondering how deep my voice will get. That, and hoping that any chin hair I receive will be someplace where I could find it and pluck it to get it out of the way of anything else I might use.

So I believe we're caught up at last-- meds cause blood pressure issues weight causes pain, weight loss causes blood pressure shoots no weight loss causes pain. Pretty much sums it up. Really. This will get sillier. I promise a silly blog is due. I started to write one tonight. I'm so punch-drunk tired from not sleeping. Oh yes I did sleep, though no I didn't. Oh yes I did. Oh, no I didn't. I don't get the sleep I want when I'm waiting for a cat to put her face in my nose. Any minute now. In the meantime the dog is heading for his potty pad so that must mean it's time for me to stop posting a blog-- until the next time.

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